Humble

8/14/2012

Humble

Want to feel humble some time?  Once a month on my way to the beauty salon, I drive on Deer Park.  Not only is there a 25 mph speed limit on that street, which means you are literally crawling along; but, there are a zillion bus stops on that street (or at least seems like it).  On an early Saturday morning every bus stop has multiples of people waiting for a bus.  Where are they going at 8:30 in the morning?  To work? Shopping? Seems doubtful that they’re catching the bus just so that they can go out for breakfast – but maybe.

I pass all these people grateful for my dark sunglasses, so that I can see but not be seen.  Jeff and I have worked hard all of our life to achieve what we now have.  But as I pass these people in my nice car, I feel bad and maybe a bit ashamed.  How did Jeff and I manage to get where we are today and the people I pass appear to have so little.

Jeff and I whine about the little annoyances in our life – the a/c doesn’t work for a WHOLE day or the garage door needs a new screw drive (at least we have a garage and there’s a car inside).  But compared to people who ride the bus because they have to, not because they want to, we have absolutely nothing to fuss about.

The next time you pass people standing at the bus stop, imagine for a moment that that is your life.  Where are you going today?

 P

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” Oprah

Sun Tan

8/13/2012

Sun Tan

I start the summer off so faithful and yet by August have completely veered off the path.  It’s worse than making a New Year’s resolution.  Problem?  Keeping a fake tan going for the entire summer.  I know, I know doesn’t sound like much of a problem unless you’re the one with the lily white legs sticking out of capris or heaven forbid shorts!

The products on the market today are a long way from what we used in the 60’s which was guaranteed to turn you into a carrot.  So eager were we to turn brown when I was a teenager we used a deadly combination of baby oil and iodine and then sat in the sun.  Immediate burn/tan.  Remember back in the 60’s we didn’t give a hang for sunscreen, skin cancer or as teenagers – wrinkles and age spots!!

Today’s products are easy to use and used properly will over time give you that sun kissed glow that women seek.  Why?  I don’t know about everybody but some will tell you that excess weight (heavens I don’t want to say fat) looks better bronzed.  Think about it – do you really want to eat a pale chicken?  Nope, you want that toasty, crispy brown breast.  Same deal for humans. 

So in the beginning of summer I line up the “eventual glow” tanning product on the bathtub and the entire month of June I religiously apply the goo to my legs, which is the only thing I care about, every morning.  By the time July rolls around, I’m down to every other day or even just once a week and the glow is beginning to wear off – figuratively and literally.

Come August, the product has been pushed back to the recesses of the bathroom cabinet and won’t be seen again until next June when I’ll take it back out and vow to be faithful.  And I know I won’t. You see there is a certain morning madness Monday through Friday even if you have sufficiently prepped.  The night before I pack my lunch and breakfast and they’re waiting in the fridge.  I’ve laid out my clothes, appropriate shoes, found my ID badge, charged my cell phone and Kindle and my notebook is packed with my latest writing assignments.  I should have plenty of time, given all of my organizational ability, to sit on the edge of the tub and work on my tan.  And yet I don’t.

The upside of being short – and there aren’t many – is that most capris (or shorty pants as I call them) are really almost full length pants on me.  Generally, I only have my white ankles sticking out and we all nobody  pays much attention to ankles - unless we were living in the Victorian era and then it would be shocking.

And there you have it.  I'm heading off to work this morning untanned and unconcerned.  Enjoy your Monday and remember there are (after today) only 4 more days until Saturday.

P

The Fair

8/12/12

The Fair

Late yesterday afternoon, Jeff and I took Ben along with his parents to the fair.  I wore my grungiest shoes just in case I encountered either mud or walked behind an animal - or both.  The sights, smells and lights of the midway is a huge draw for a young child and luckily Ben and his parents opted to buy the "all you can ride" bracelets.  Tickets are pricey and each ride is 3 or 4 tickets each.  One ride takes 8 tickets!  And, at the ticket booths once inside the fair it's strictly a cash business.

Ben was all over the place trying to decide on the first ride and after that, it was pretty easy - that one and that one and that one.  And again.  I did buy enough tickets to ride my favorites: teacups and tilt-a-whirl, which I rode twice.  The tilt-a-whirl is just as much fun for me today as it was when I was 16!  

The carnies were pitching ring toss, dart tossing, fishing and horse racing games.  The good news - generally kids always win something.  Ben came away for the evening with two small stuffed animals and two small studded rubber balls.  One game he played you get three darts for $5.00 - the carnie let Ben have 6 darts and he actually hit a balloon!

Food and drink are plentiful and definitely not healthy.  Fried everything from dough to oreos and funnel cakes covered in powdered sugar, chocolate or cherries.  People were walking around eating corn on the cob which seems more like a sit-down food to me.

During a rainstorm we ran into the cow birthing center where one cow had already produced a beautiful white and tan spotted calf which looked just like her mother!  Looked like another cow would probably produce her calf sometime during the night.

At the end of our stay I had a few tickets left over.  I told Jeff that I was going to give the tickets to some mother and child who weren't wearing ride bracelets.  The woman I eventually approached was thrilled with a few extra tickets for her daughter.  It was a good paying it forward moment.

We stayed until 11:00 and I walked over 11,000 steps yesterday and have the sore hip and leg to prove it!  Getting Ben to bed and sleep was a piece of cake.  One bedtime story and he was gone.

I, of course was up at 5:00 but I'm thinking there might have to be an afternoon nap scheduled for today.  The rest of the house is still asleep so I'm enjoying the peace and quiet that will be broken when Ben gets up and is ready to start his day at around 60 mph!

"A grandchild fills a space in your heart that you never knew was empty."

Author: Unknown

Benjamin and Saturday

8/11/2012

Benjamin and Saturday

There are two greats things happening today.  One is that it's Saturday.  My day to linger over a cup of coffee and read (okay glance) at the paper leisurely.  During the week I read the paper when I get home from work in the evening.  I'm more of a pictures person when it comes to the paper; and, anyway Jeff keeps me posted on the big news.

I have had my cup of coffee, gone through all the ads, found coupons for new products that look interesting.  Pens made out of water bottles - gotta try that.  Apples and pears with caramel, that sounds yummy and might be really good in a lunchbox.

I digress.  Anyway, the other great thing about this Saturday in particular is that Benjamin is coming to visit.  Jeff and I haven't seen him in several weeks and we miss him.  He called last night and while he's not quite ready to converse on the phone for more than 30 seconds before he dashes off; he's getting better.   I don't always understand everything he says on the phone but at 4 he doesn't always expect an answer.  So it's working really well for both of us.  He screams I love you and because I know he's running away I scream in return. 

Today, when Benjamin and his parents come we are loading up the car(s) and heading to the fair.  Yup Montgomery County.  I have suggested that the only way to take Benjamin to the fair is to buy him and his parents those "all you can ride" bracelets.  Children, particularly 4 year olds, do not understand that you are either (a) out of money; or (b) don't have any tickets left.  Both of these scenarios I have seen in years past and they are met with unpleasant results (i.e., temper tantrums).  

It seems doubtful that Benjamin will have any interest in the farm animals but might rev up enthusiasm for the rabbits.  I hear they make nice pets and they're always several up for sale!  So if we miss the sheep, pig and cow barns I'm okay with that.  As for the midway, if it was up to me I'd skip that part; but, we're going for a small boy and the sights and sounds of the midway are intoxicating.  I will pack some spare money in my pocket so that Benjamin can go "fish" or play some other cash-only game.  His chances of winning are unlikely but try explaining that to a toddler.  There is one game at the fair where you are guaranteed to win something even if it's just a pencil.  To a small boy it isn't the size of the prize, it's the prize itself.  I understand this.

There is also fair food to be sampled.  Cotton candy for me as a child was a marvelous treat that I only got at local fairs.  I tried it a few years ago as an adult and it nearly gagged me.  Too sweet, too sticky, too everything.  Nope no more cotton candy in my life.  But, I know that the sticky treat may "call" to Benjamin and I believe every child should get a chance to have unlimited amounts of fun, eat gooey, sugary treats and run till they collapse.  All of this we will do today.  

There are very few rides that hold much appeal for me anymore.  My all time favorite remains the Tilt-A-Whirl.  Loved it as a child and love it now.  That is the one ride that is hard for me to resist.  I also like tea cups where you can either spin yourself into a frenzy or just sit and enjoy the ride.  If my son is involved, he will turn the wheel until the world becomes a dizzying blur before our eyes.  I don't want to spin upside down, have the floor drop away below me, ride a roller coaster or have bumper cars crash into me.  I know I sound like a wet blanket - but it's just the way it is.

Once our money is gone and the child is worn down to a nub, we will head home.  Benjamin and his parents are staying over tonight and then will leave tomorrow probably after breakfast.  After our bedroom door is shut tonight and before I turn out the lights, there will be time for book reading, tickling and my personal favorite cuddling.  I don't know how much longer Benjamin will tolerate the cuddle routine; but, I'm willing to participate as long as he is.

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child.  There are seven million.  ~Walt Streightiff 

Go out - catch a ride - eat something sticky - and enjoy yourself.

P

Hope Springs

8/10/2012

Hope Springs

You remember that I played hooky yesterday and that my friend and I were going to the movies.  We did.  We went and saw Hope Springs and it was a wonderfully motivating movie.  We were both pleased to see that there were a number of much older couples seeing the movie together.  It's true that even though the movie just came out there was only a smattering of people in the theater; but, that's okay.  I chalk that up to middle of the day and middle of the week.

This movie will not likely appeal to the younger crowd.  They won't understand or appreciate what the movie is talking about - a long term marriage that has both bred familiarity and is mired down in its routine and dullness.  

The wife is trying to breathe new life into her 31 year marriage and her husband is highly resistive. But as you watch them go through their day it hits you that here are two people living in the same house but not really seeing or interacting with each other.  Easy to do after many, many years of being with someone.  

I highly recommend the movie partly because two of my favorite actors are playing the lead roles; but, because I think it's worthy of watching.  I can't speak for my friend or you; but, I left the movie theater wanting to be a better person in my own marriage.

Go - take your spouse - buy popcorn (even if it is expensive and not what you might normally do) - and enjoy.  I know you will.

Appropriate quote for the day from Leo Buscaglia:

"Relish love in your old age! Aged love is like aged wine; it becomes more satisfying, more refreshing, more valuable, more appreciated and more intoxicating!"

Hang on readers - it's Friday.  In 8 hours or so we'll all be free for two whole days!

P

Day Off

8/9/2012

Day Off

Yup.  Right in the middle (or nearly) of the week, I'm taking a day off.  I'm playing hookey.    I find that the longer I work (we're talking years here people) the more "battery charging" days I need.  So today looked like a good day to play and play I shall. 

First of all I slept in - all the way until 6:00!  Gadzooks, half the day is gone.  Second, I've arranged a play date for myself with my neighbor.  We're going to see the new movie Hope Springs with Meryl Strepp and Tommy Lee Jones this afternoon.  It looks like kind of an "old person" story and I bet it'll be funny besides.

I have a few errands to run this morning and since my car is being serviced today, I'll zip around town in Jeff's little convertible which is a hoot to run errands in.  You can park her anywhere - just have to (a) watch your speed; and (b) watch for bumps (she runs very low to the ground).

I have just signed up for another writing class with University of Madison so I may bat around some ideas on paper for my latest writing assignment.  The assignments are brutual but the feedback is absolutely worth it.  This will be the third online class I've taken with Madison and each one has been worth every cent.  

Oh I know I'll also try and think of my tomorrow and the next day blog.  You don't suppose that I just sit down here every morning at 5:00 and immediately the words begin to flow.  Generally, not so much.  If there is a lot swirling around up there and generally there is, my creative side can get pushed back and be hard to find.  We can't have that.

I don't suppose your Thursday is going to look like mine; but, whatever you do today enjoy it.

 

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”
― W. Somerset Maugham

P

Learning to Hug

8/8/2012

Learning to Hug

I grew up in a non-demonstrative home.  There were no verbal or physical affirmations of love.  This is how I was raised so it's no surprise that as an adult I was very much like my parents. My parents were uncomfortable with emotion and even hugging them on my wedding day was uncomfortable for all of us. Toward the end of my Dad's life he was eventually able to tell me that he loved me, words that I don't recall ever hearing from my mother.

I had children of my own and I like to think I was better (maybe not a lot) about showing or telling the boys that I loved them.  If they are reading this and don't think I did such a good job, then I'm sorry.  There is an old saying "we are who we are because of our past" which excellently represents what goes on in many households and leaves us as adults less than perfect.

When Benjamin was born under his difficult circumstances and he came to live with us for what turned out to be two years, I learned finally at age 58 how to hug - really hug.  It also came very easy for me to tell him daily or even hourly how much I loved him.  Why?  I can't really explain it, I just know that it happened.  I had an immediate connection with Benjamin that remains unbroken today, even though he no longer lives with me.

Perhaps I knew deep down that without a mother, Benjamin as a new baby, would miss out on maternal bonding and it might possibly have a deep impact on his life in the future.  I can tell you this - Benjamin at four years of age has a fine solid foundation to grow on.  All of us in the early days were able to give selflessly to him and it shows.

So to Benjamin many thanks and hugs for being who you are and teaching an old woman, and it's never too late to learn, how to really hug and tell someone that you love them. You should do both often and with abandon and I'm trying.

Worthy quote from Leo Buscaglia "Change is the end result of all true learning." 

Happy Wednesday, P