Sleep

7/20/12

Sleep

Sleep is a lot like sex, not always such a big deal - till you're not getting any.  And now I know that I absolutely have your attention!  I don't know about you but lately I have been having a near constant tussle to either (a) get to sleep; or (b) stay asleep.  I'm even okay with rise and shine at 5:00 am; but one day this week I was padding around the house at 2:00 am.  When you get up this early it makes you remarkably angry particularly with anyone who is still sleeping.

On that particular morning here's what I accomplished between the hours of 2:00 and time to go to work.  I made coffee and actually poured two cups (in the dark) before I realized that the lid wasn't on properly and I was pouring the coffee on the counter!  So then I cleaned up the coffee, did my blog, checked emails (junk mostly), answered puzzle requests from friends (though my responses at that hour were very, very basic - I added an "s" or an "ed").  I did some knitting trying desperately to remember when to knit and when to purl and YouTube happily helps with this.  And I was able to do some coloring.

Since I was up and the online stores are always open I ordered myself a new kind of markers that give you a paintbrush like effect when you color.  Cool.  Amazon and QVC could become an insomniacs new best friend.  What did we do in the "old days" when we couldn't sleep?  We probably read books (the "real" kind) and suffered through some dire late night television, or in some cases, the white noise from a channel that is off the air.  Remember when that happened?  You don't see that anymore.

So if some early evening you happen to call and I don't answer, it's probably because I'm zonked out in my chair.  Leave a message - I'll call back.

Enjoy your Friday.

P

Growing Up

7/18/2012

Growing Up

Benjamin (grandson) is a big boy now.  He's 4, potty trained and even uses the "big boy" pot now so the cute, little frog potty has been demoted to basement status.  This is all good, yet a bit sad at least for little old me (Mom-Mom).  

Tonight Jeff went out and bought Ben a booster seat for my car.  The car seat that has been in my car for years will be sold and replaced by the now needed big boy seat.  This seat will accommodate him until I don't know, he's ready for college or something.  It has cup holders so looks a bit like an old man's recliner.  

I have always known that eventually Ben would one day grow up.  He was a baby, then a young toddler and now he might still be considered a toddler - he's on the downward slide out of that group.  He's thinning out, just like they're supposed to.  But, there is something every endearing about chubby baby fingers,toes and cheeks, at least to me.

My old sippy cups have been replaced by "cool" cups with built-in plastic straws and now Ben would rather have chocolate milk than the plain vanilla kind. Of course he still wants a "monkey drink" (which happens to be a liquid yogurt that has a monkey on each bottle) when he visits Mom-Mom's house and I do keep a supply handy.

My baby and toddler spoons and forks are now pushed to the back of the silverware drawer as are my divided plates and the ones that have the raised edges to keep food more on the plate, less on the child.    Ben is now old enough to use real dishes and silverware and now after years of practice seldom drops food over the side of the table.  The dogs miss the younger Ben too - believe me.  For a few years he was definitely the guy to be followed and when he would sit in his highchair or at the table, the dogs would be in the near vicinity to catch any stray morsels.

I'm packing up my Elmo DVD's and taking them to work to a new grandmother.  She says she doesn't need Elmo because the baby is just a few months old - I assure her that she will need and want the Elmo DVDs because all little children love Elmo.  Ben has left Elmo and his much beloved Hi-Five DVDs behind in favor of the newest animated movie available to rent or buy.  

Stuffed animals are now pushed in the back corner of my bedroom, not always forgotten but certainly not the front runner that they once were.  Rocking horses and small riding toys have been sold or given away.  Ben uses a tricycle at my house and rides a two-wheeler (w/training wheels) at his house.

So by the very act of selling one of Ben's car seats already and replacing it with this new, tall, cupholding booster seat, I realize that young Ben is going, going and soon will be gone.  I knew he would grow up, everybody does.  Did it just have to happen so soon?

P

Love

7/18/2012

Love

What pearl of wisdom an I impart on you today?  Let me think for a minute.

How about enjoy today because tomorrow is not guaranteed to you - or anybody else for that matter. 

Years ago Jeff and I were taking the train from Chicago to central Illinois to spend some time with my brother and his family.  Train travel is very pleasant, you get to move around, lots of leg room and comfy seats.  For reasons I can no longer remember a perfect stranger introduced himself, sat down near us and we proceeded for several hours to have a most engaging conversation.  This young man and Jeff exchanged business cards and after arriving home a week or so later, a book came in the mail from this young man, titled simply Love.  The author of the book was a professor, Leo Buscaglia, who taught at the University of Southern California a non-credit class called Love 1A.

Professor Buscaglia wrote 6 other books all based on relationships.  His theory boiled down to this:  tell someone you love them TODAY, or forgive them TODAY or whatever you need to do or say, don't wait, make it happen TODAY, not tomorrow.

By the time my father passed away a number of years ago, I was devastated by the loss; but, I was also happy that he knew at the very last moment of his life how I felt about him.  Why?  Because I had told him so.  I hadn't kept my feelings a personal secret that I wasn't wiling or able to share with him.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said when I suffered an unexpected loss and hadn't been so forthcoming with my feelings. That relationship simply ran out of tomorrows and the words I wished I had shared were left unspoken.

I wasn't raised to be verbal or demonstrative about love; but I'm working harder at hugging and telling people that I love them and I'm doing it TODAY and all the next days that I have.

Here is one of Professor Buscaglia's quotes that I particularly like: "Love is life.... and if you miss love, you miss life."

Remember - TODAY.

P

Return to Work

7/17/2012

Return to Work

It's Tuesday and I made it through Monday.  You know it was Monday after all you had a Monday too.  But for this was MONDAY after being gone from the office for two weeks. I got up super early yesterday and booked it down the highway by 6:30 am so that I could have a few minutes (or hours in some cases) getting myself grounded before everybody else came in for the day.  

I am always anxious when returning to work on a variety of levels.  On one level I worry that somebody might have futzed with my area.  My work area is clean and everything, and I do mean everything, is placed exactly where I want it.  I'm happy to say that my space minus the usual half-filled, cold cup of coffee that I always have with me, everything looked the same.  Perfect.  My zen was good.

I went around the offices picking up the work that has been waiting for me and a lot of it is merely which is boring but necessary.  Oh and there is a large box of shred waiting for me too.  We shred everything in our department and normally when you do it daily it's no big thing - but after two weeks it looks monstrous. 

I've gotten my required cup of joe and my stack of "to-do's" is neatly stacked in one corner away from me and now I turn on the computer.  Let the games begin.  I don't know how many emails you all get in a day and since I'm not a doctor, lawyer or Indian chief I don't get as many as some people; but I get my share.  First, in true efficient form starting from the oldest emails I work my way up slowly deleting past calendar entries, bulletins and other messages that have nothing much to do with me.

Okay just by doing that I drop my email count down to 155 - the goal for the day - down to zero unread.  Again, starting from the bottom I begin to print out emails and attachments as fast as both the computer and printer can go.  Meanwhile, I make a list (yes folks I'm anal) of files I need to work on and gather them up while all the electrical devices are doing their thing.  This is efficient use of both time and machine.

I worked diligently for hours and matched paperwork to files, made new labels, created new files, answered the phone, opened the mail, processed invoices and even found time to chat with my friends about the last two weeks - theirs and mine.

At the end of the day and my fanny was dragging just a bit, I only had 5 emails left in my inbox!  Pretty good for an old broad.  Today, will be a more relaxing day for me as I have gotten over that "first day" set of nerves that I always get when I return to work after an absence.  Well, not a Saturday, Sunday absence; but time off after being sick or out somewhere living it up.

Today's challenge - the shredder box!  If I get to work super early again today, I could shred tons of paper before anyone else was in and found the noise of near-constant shredding like white noise in their ear.  That sounds like a plan.  Guess I'd better hurry up and get dressed after all it's 5:30 in the morning and I'm nearly late.

I found a quote yesterday about happiness that I want to share:  The essentials to happiness in your life are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for.

I hope that everyone reading have all three essentials in their life.  Enjoy Tuesday.

P

Opinions

7/16/2012

 Opinions

Everybody has an opinion and they can are generally good or bad depending on who's judging.  Take my family for instance.  The opinions expressed by the various family  members are as varied as the individuals themselves.  The only person whose opinion is seldom heard is mine and that's generally because nobody's really listening.  So today I'm going to climb up on the soap box and have my say - more or less.

I have one family member who is a shoot from the hip kind of guy who takes little or no time to concentrate on either his opinions and/or actions and consequences be damned.  And there are always consequences.  His actions and opinions most often fly directly into the face of opposition by other members of the family.  In addition to just the daily general family dynamics we added a family business to the mix several years ago - well if you stir that up long enough things can quickly get out of control.  And they do regularly.

Whatever the disagreement and whoever it involves, I find myself, as I have for years, in the middle.  I am mired in the muck wearing my paper-thin referee shirt trying to hear everybody's side.  Sometimes I feel as powerful as the Supreme Court when I weigh in on the situation. Now not everyone likes what I have to say and my good advice is not always taken or probably really heard.  Oh well at least I try.

Unfortunately at 62, I'm a bit frayed at the edges and tired of the battle.  I am happiest when I have little or no cellphone coverage and email is down because at the point there are no problems - or at least none that I know of.  Everyone rants and raves about the latest situation and when they're done they feel so much better, even if there has been no real resolution.  Why?  Because they have been heard.  Do I feel better?  In a  word - no.

I think caller ID was invented so that when you see that "number" pop up on the screen you can automatically brace yourself for the storm heading your way.  Confession - some days after looking at caller ID, I don't pick up.  Sorry but it's the truth.  It's preservation of life - mine.

You have to pick your battles and occasionally you should stop yourself and ask did you pick the right one?   Or are you arguing just for the hell of it?  Sometimes opinions are not always black and white.  There is a gray area and that's where I live.  

P

Giving Thanks

7/15/2012

Giving Thanks

Today I would like to give thanks to somebody who helped me in my first life (i.e., first marriage).  Her name is Doti and I haven't seen or heard from her in 37 years, which for purposes of today's post doesn't matter.   What does matter is that I feel strongly that I need to say thank you to her for helping and possibly saving me during a very dark period of my life.

Doti and I worked together and she was older than I was by many years.  Doti and her husband were financially stable and I was not.  To be honest, I was poor - nearly poverty poor.  I had no money and  I didn't drive. Doti knew all this and knew that I brought a brown bag with a sorry assortment of food to work every day.  Each week Doti asked me out to lunch to a local restaurant offering a two-for-one" lunch.  I knew that the restaurant had no such deal; but by saying so Doti allowed me to have some pride and she knew that I knew what she was doing.  But, once a week without fail I sat down in a restaurant and had a great meal.

Doti did other things for me during the time we worked together.  She helped find someone willing to take me to and from work every day and even on one very sorry occasion took up a collection at work so that I could go to the doctor.

What Doti did for me was throw me a life preserver that allowed me to keep afloat during this 

period of my life.  Why am I telling you all this now?  Because I haven't forgotten what she did for me so many years ago.  And I wanted to give thanks to an amazing woman who was there when I needed her.  To honor this wonderful woman I try and pay it forward as often as I can and hope that I have or will make a difference in someone's life.

Thanks Doti.


P 

Vacation Pictures

7/14/2012

Vacation Pictures

As promised and I am a faster writer than I am a photographer-paster-into-the-computer person but I will share a few shots from our trip.  Enjoy.

Important person about to board - right seat - essential snacker and water provider.  No pilot can do without us!

An amazing sunset from N874T

Somewhere over land!

Taken from Split Rock Lighthouse