I didn't Forget You, I promise

 11/10/2020 - UPDATE 11/11/2020

I'm a "tad" late today. Technical issues, actually my technical issues. While I would be lost without the computer, if anything, major or minor, changes to my computer, I become really confused. I don't want to put all of my troubles onto my memory issues, but pretty much have to.

I "force" myself to watching one loop of news while I have breakfast. More than that, I'd be having trouble with that concept - cup half full or cup half empty. Not feeling very optimistic these days. We've got the virus, still pretty much out of control. Then there is the election nonsense going on. Thanksgiving? Most of us, at least Jeff and I, will be staying home and cooking a turkey dinner for the two of us. Sounds pathetic I know, but this is our new normal reality. And it sucks!

It's raining today, and if I remember correctly, will for a few more days this week. Great for the yard, but gray weather is a "Debby Downer" for me. And, yes I'm sitting in front of my light box. When we went looking for a light box, there were plenty of choices. I knew that I needed a bigger light box, we bought it, and I use it every day. Does it help? On days like today, all doom and gloom, yes it does. It gives me sunshine, if you will.

Today, back to the plastic surgeon to have the stitches removed from where the skin cancer spots were removed last week. Now I wonder, if after the stitches are out, will my new name be, scar face. I'll know later today. 

Talking to my psychiatrist today. Last week she challenged me to put a Christmas list on Amazon, for the family, when it comes to shopping for me. Jeff says that I'm very difficult to buy for, but I disagree. I like everything, truly I do. And, when it comes to opening presents, my reward is when somebody is genuinely happy. That's when I know "I done good".

We are letting the girls out in the front yard, several times a day. They don't go far, pretty much one loop around the nearby houses, and back. Our backyard isn't big enough for Daisy (the terrier) to really run. When she's in the front yard, she runs like her life depends on it. 

I'm not sure that Bella feels the need for speed, as much as Daisy does. But, here's what I do know - when they come back from their "run about", they are both ready for water and a nap.

Here's a test for you gals out there. A week ago, I opened up our two junk drawers. And, I started taking things out, and putting them in a plastic bag, which I've dated. I didn't take out anything that obviously was in the necessary column. But, everything else was fair game. I want to see how long, if ever, Jeff or myself needs the things I've put away. My answer is I doubt that we'll not miss anything.  It's just way too easy, to stash something into the junk drawers. After a bit of time, they really do become junk drawers. I certainly don't want to open up said drawers, but when you almost can't fit anything else into the drawers, something has to be done. My thought is: out of sight, out of mind. 

Since my life is now, and likely will always be, rather small, I sometimes have difficulty in knowing what I want to "talk" about. Um, today is one of those days.

I hope all of you my friends, are staying safe. Jeff's theory, and it's a correct one, that if I stay home, then I'm definitely safe. So my ventures outside of the house are limited. When a vaccine becomes available, with my doctor's opinion, Jeff and I want to be first in line.

Happy Wednesday.

P

 

It's Okay to Exhale - Truly!

 10/9/2020

I'll have to keep this brief. Back to Hopkins today, to see if the laser treatment I had on one eye, is better today. We'll SEE. Did you like my humor there?

Last week was, I thought, exhausting. Watching numbers practically all day, is a lot of work, but somebody's got to do it. So why not Jeff and I? We're retired (one of us more than the other), we COULD sleep in, but the girls have internal clocks. And that clock and their restlessness is always around 7:30. So we get up. I can always take a nap later. Ah, the joys of retirement.

Yesterday, we made our weekly trek to the only store in the universe, at least that's how Jeff thinks. My sister and I are going to exchange a sister box probably later this month. If you don't know what a sister box is, I'll explain.

In years past i.e., before the virus, my sister and I would swap sister boxes to each other. Everything in the sister box is wrapped, to make it more exciting. I only open the sister box, when everything else has been put away. I don't get too many surprises in my life anymore, so just the thought of a special box coming my way, makes me very happy.

We did decide that in our boxes this year, we would include a book (which we could swap after we had read our books). 

While Jeff is a get in and get out of shopper, and I know why this is important, he did follow me around while I picked up some small things for my box. Can't tell you what I bought, because she might be "listening"!!!

As years in the past, when my Christmas shopping begins in earnest, like right about now, I use the living room as my staging base. I put items on the couch, and/or leave them in their boxes, which I can easily wrap (or not) later. As I've mentioned before, packing tape not only closes the boxes, but is a form of decoration (na, but I like the fact that it eliminates the need for paper, bows, etc.

I really try to wrap the gifts for Stacey, Elly and Wendy. My theory is cut off a really BIG piece of wrapping paper, probably enough for two packages, and then wrap said paper around the box. Of course, I always have way too much paper, but in my simple mind, that was why scissors were invited - to cut stuff. Let's put it this way, if everybody's presents were ready to be opened, my presents would stand out - because they are unique - in a good way. Okay that may just be my opinion, but to me, that's the only one that really matters.

Gotta run. My appointment is at 12:45. I pack a go bag, because if you go to Hopkins, you had better be prepared to spend a long time there. In my bag, I put in cut up apples, some gummy treats, my water (never go without it), and maybe a Belvita cookie in there as well. Once you have spent the day at the hospital, you know that you have to bring along goodies, including a book to read.

Talk to you tomorrow.

P

 

 

Stuff On My Mind!

11/6/2020

Bear with me today everyone. I, like sometimes in the past, don't really have a "to go" topic of the day. This is called brain block, at least that's what I call it. There may be a more "scientific" word, but block works for me.

I've watched one round of news. I leave the tv on during the day, on mute. I don't know about you, but watching the "heads", hour after hour, is not productive. Of course, even if I don't watch the "heads", I can still be non-productive.

Of course, if you go research on the Internet, and everybody knows how reliable that can be, they give out election result numbers for each state. 

Okay, that's enough about that. Big news, but not perhaps the most current news. A maid and an assistant have both quit their jobs working for the royals - William and Kate. Perhaps, the jobs of these two women, were more of a 24/7 job, with little time off. I suspect that the pay was good, but everybody needs time away from their jobs.

Clothing dilemma: I have bought person "x" a fun t-shirt for Christmas. I think "x" will like, perhaps even love, the shirt. So what's the dilemma you ask? When buying an article of clothing, you have to ask yourself, or perhaps it's just me, but what size do you order? I definitely don't want to offend anybody, by buying something too small, or too big. See the problem? Unless, it's a perfect fit, which seldom happens, you stand the chance of having to return clothing. And returning, while Amazon makes it very easy, in the end, it's just a pain in the rear. That's why you always buy a present with a gift receipt! With a gift receipt, the person in question, can return your gift, and buy something else, if they choose. 

By the next time, I get my head "shrunk", I am supposed to be able to give her my Christmas list. I can't remember when I last put a list of possibilities out there on Amazon. But, I've started, but seem to spend sometime every day, tweaking the list. After a review, I decide that this or that on my list, is too expensive. I don't know this for sure, but to err on the side of caution, I remove these items. You see why I'm a better gift giver, which is my favorite thing to do. And I think about possible gifts pretty much all year long. What do I want? Ack. This is pressure. One of things on my list is bright purple pot holders, they're not expensive. But, the sweaters which I put on the list, I have sense removed because of the cost. I do like everything, contrary to belief, but I don't want to break the bank, over a gift, for heavens sake.

I have, and perhaps you do as well, have a side table beside your favorite chair. I actually looked at what's on my table this morning. I have an abundance of pens, which I've put in a small crock, to keep them organized, or something like that. Hand lotion - check. TV remote - check. Remote for fireplace - check. My weather and time clock, I guess you can call it that, is also on the table. Generally, there are several catalogs on the table.  I, generally don't order from them, but occasionally they give me inspiration.

Calendar quote for the day: Encourage anyone who is trying to improve mentally, physically, or spiritually. I don't actually know anybody in my little circle of friends and family, who couldn't use some help now and then.

Have a hopefully sunny day. Please wear your masks. I love all of you, and don't want to see you get sick.

P

 

Searching, Searching, Searching

 11/5/2020

For those of you who know me well, then you already know what I'm searching for. Christmas presents! Too early for some, but never too early for me.

I think of myself as Santa's Little Helper. I always have so much fun, looking at this, and looking at that. And, when the recipient seems to like and/or love my gift, my reward is knowing that I did good!!

Everybody, with the exclusion of Jeff, puts out their list on Amazon. I use their list, as a guide. And, I'll buy things from their list, of course, but then I go rouge (right spelling?) and shop for other things. Jeff and I don't always agree with my decision, but I know that for most of those years, I think I've hit it out of the ballpark!

On my to do list, is to order the 2021 4A calendar magnets. I have some cards from last year, that were not needed. In those cases, I just have to remove the calendars. I'm going to have to get from Scott or Jeff, the number of cards and calendars for this year.

My handwriting is now so poor, shaky actually, that I prefer that the company print out both the return address on the envelope, and the signature on the actual card. At that point, I just have to stuff and seal, and then I'm done for another year.

While I'm on line, I keep checking the election results. The numbers that I saw this morning, pleases me. No hate mail please.

I did some loops around the circle yesterday. I will loop again today, and try to add one extra loop today. Won't be joining a marathon race ever, but for an old gal, such as myself, 7 or 8 loops is just about the all the exercise I can do. When I'm feeling very spry, I can go out later, and loop again! I think it's a bit funny, that I do loops, and some will say that it's appropriate, because I'm somewhat loopy!

When I see the mounting number of cases and death tolls every day, it makes me sad. Jeff and I must not travel in the right areas, because when we venture out, everybody is wearing a mask.

I used to really look forward to the holidays. But, this year, not so much. I just don't believe that zooming the holidays with the family, will not be as exciting as actually be with them. We have to do, what we have to do. I'm hoping that next year, will be better, because frankly, just my opinion now, this year has sucked big time.

You know the drill: wash, mask, stay apart. Those are not things that are complicated, nor unreasonable. Annoying - a resounding yes.

Have a great day.

P

Endless, But Necessary, Talking

 10/4/2020

Well, it's the day after THE DAY. Jeff and I stayed up quite late last night. Once I found myself nodding off, it was Jeff's recommendation that I go to bed. He told me, and rightly so, that there wasn't going to be a definitive winner. 

Eating my breakfast today, with Daisy on my lap, always looking for crumbs. I'm not sure if Daisy loves me, because I'm me - or she loves me for the crumbs left on my clothes.

While I ate, and I didn't get indigestion (much indigestion!), I listened to the talking heads, and looked at chart after chart. I'm in my office now, so I muted the television. When I go back to the den at lunch time, I know that the numbers will have changed.

Since I don't talk politics, I won't tell you who I'm rooting for. But, I will say this, that this year's election has captured our attention, big time.

In past year's elections, we watched as the numbers rolled in. What we weren't, was super excited, enough to stay up until midnight. This year, was interesting from the start. And, at least, we're not a house divided. I know after watching interviews that some couples have differing opinions on which candidate should win.

I'm off to take care of business (Elvis anyone?). I muted the television, because I didn't want to hear the drone of the newscasters. 

I have so much to do, but just don't seem to have the zest, to work on projects. And, I have many projects to do, but their all boring. I mean how excited can you get from putting clothes in the washer. And, yes I can say, from my view point, this is a ho-hum activity. You ladies may feel the same way.

One of the "tasks" my doctor wanted me to do this week, was to put my list on Amazon. I absolutely have no trouble coming up with gifts for the family. Not having much luck, with my list. I find something, and add it to the list. Then I go back, and delete said item, generally because of the price. The surprise of a gift is absolutely wonderful for me. And, it could be anything - truly!

The list I have for the family, is long and ever changing. I have always thought of myself as a "good gift giver". Since I'm not working, and have no children to take care of, I've got time, lots of it actually, to roam around the internet, looking at possible gifts. To be fair, I'm happier when someone opens a gift, and is very excited and happy. And, this makes me very happy.

I'm trying to limit the gifts this year for the family. I need to think about buying less gifts. And, the ones that Jeff and I give, are more meaningful, as well as useful!

If I'm unable to finish "hooking" all my kits for Christmas, I'll have Jeff take a picture, which I can give as a future present. One that I can finish, oh I don't know - may be by 2025!!!

I'll not watch the numbers until I eat lunch. The numbers are changing every few minutes. I really don't need to watch the election numbers come in, 24/7. As they say, it is what it is. Very true.

The sun is shining bright today, after several days of doom and gloom. While it's cold, by my standards, I'm going to try and walk several loops around the circle on our street.

Have a wonderful day, and I hope the weather is good wherever you are. For me? I'd actually like to see a rainbow.

P

 

 

It's Finally Here!!!

 11/3/2020

After months of listening to not only the "talking heads", but the candidates as well, we've finally reached Election Day. But, wait,it's not really over till the fat lady sings - or something like that. It will be a long day for the candidates (and, no I'm not going to say who I voted for), who are still out on the trail, even as I write this.

Starting around 4:00 this afternoon, the the news will be all about the election. I guess a perfect time for a snooze this afternoon, so you can stay up until your eyeballs fall back into your head!

Assignment: Truly. I have been asked or tasked with putting some of my true life stories out there. That means, you my friends, will have to follow along too.

First Story: Aunt Ruby's Attic

Many years ago, Jeff, myself and the boys headed to Arkansas for a family reunion. If my memory is straight, before our trip, we traded in our car, for a newer version of what we had previously owned. That doesn't make much sense now that I think about what we did.

Of course, we had the luxury of a new car smell. This is a scent that goes away much too quickly. The three boys were all given time in the front seat. Me? I was in the back with the other boys. This trip was before movies were in the car, no laptops, cell phones, etc. Nope, this was old school - reading, seeing how many different license plates you see. And, an old game, "I Spy". 

The trip to Arkansas was in the middle of summer, and the boys complained that there wasn't enough air conditioning. Nobody was satisfied - including your truly, because I was mostly in the back seat, trying to entertain the boys, and not lose my sanity on the trip.

Once we arrived at Aunt Ruby's house, and Jeff remembered where it was, and though the trip had taken only one day, if my memory serves me right. We were exhausted and crabby by the time we arrived at Aunt Ruby's house.

Jeff's mother and father had already arrived, and they stayed in the guest room. Aunt Ruby told us not to worry, she had a spare room in the attic. There were two beds and a sleeping bag for the boys, and a double bed for Jeff and I.

Aunt Ruby pointed out that there was a fan circa probably the 40's. It was a fan that had no guard, just blades. And, the best part was that there was no bathroom in our "suite". Ah, but she had an answer for that - wait for it - a chamber pot. Some of you may not know what a chamber pot is, but you use it, if there was no other suggestion. As Aunt Ruby left us for the night, she reminded us that said chamber pot had a slight crack, so please be careful. About that time, I knew I was in seven degrees of hell. We'd get the boys settled, and then one of them would complain that the fan wasn't placing in their direction. A correction was made, but for the most part, the grumbling went on, until they finally fell asleep.

Jeff and I were in the little bed.  He looked at me with that look. My answer was, are you kidding right now?

Then, one of the boys needed to use the bathroom. And, there were only two choices. Go down the stairs to a "real" bathroom, or  get cozy with the pot. Eventually, needs took over the general reluctance, to use the chamber pot that had a small crack. The boys found it fun, and if I hadn't been so darn hot, I could have found their experience with the chamber pot funny. Looking back it was funny, but certainly wasn't at the time. When Jeff unfortunately needed the chamber pot, it was as usual, an easy task for a man/boy. Me? Not so much. Never forgetting about the stupid crack, I gingerly tried to not really sit on this pot, but more of a squat and hope that you (I) was going to be able to take care of business. Happy to say that none of us made the crack bigger! If my memory serves me right, the next night, we opted to go a hotel/motel. And, this was a very good move on our part. The room had air conditioning, a bathroom, and probably more important was there was two beds.  And, yes somebody would have to once again sleep in a sleeping bag. 

The next morning, we weary travelers made it downstairs. We asked Aunt Ruby were the bathroom was. Oh, I remember her pointing down the hall. The five of us followed her finger. And, yes there was a toilet, and a shower in the same space! When I think about it, it was really handy. Do your business and take a shower - how handy is that? I'll tell you how handy it was. By my lowest standards, there was no way I was going to take a shower and sit on my royal a.., all at the same.

The boys are hungry. Once we were on the first floor, that had glorious air conditioning, she pointed to a pound cake for breakfast. I raised a small fuss about the boys eating cake for breakfast. Aunt Ruby told me that it was perfectly fine for breakfast. After all, she said it was just flour, sugar, etc. It didn't even begin to be a food group at all. I'll admit that the cake was delicious. When the cake is baking, you end up with a crusty top. I have made it several times, but it's the kind of food you don't want there to be any 'overs', if you are a sugar nut. Guilty, as charged - love sugar. It couldn't happen, but my idea of being taken to Hershey Park, and literally be dunked in said tank. Before I ran out of air, I thought that dying in chocolate wasn't such a bad way to go. in my dreams, this was a perfect way to go. Of course, I would have been pulled out of the tank, and covered in chocolate. And, I would have ruined the large vat. But when you're dreaming, you don't think of these things. Because it's just a dream. 

After a real breakfast, Aunt Ruby told us that there was a store not far from her home. It was a WalMart, and we had never heard of it, so it was time for all of us to get into the car. And, this time I, called shotgun (do mother's really do that?) Answer - yes we do. 

I decided as a woman and mother, that it should be me in the front seat. The boys didn't agree, so there was a lot of whining, pushing, and taking one of the other boys' book, etc.

I remember when I traveled with my parents, it was in the era, where there was a large bump in the backseat. And, horrors nothing electronic to do. If, back then, we would have the gadgets have now, the trip would have said gadgets to keep the boys engaged.  slightly But, her solution to fussing, etc., was the flyswatter that she kept in the front seat. None of us kids, wanted to be swatted, so we tried to play nice!! And, that wasn't easy.

One trip in particular, was to drive to Texas, and hook up with their friends from France. If, you have never driven through Texas, let's just a really big state. Periodically, one of us would ask where we were. Each time, the answer was Texas! Really? Believe me, I actually don't see myself, driving through Texas again, even with modern gadgets in a car.

Okay, boys and girls, that's part of Jeff's Aunt Ruby's story. It's all true, at least the way I remember things. I may or maybe not, have gotten all my everything right, as far as my brain is concerned. And, we all know what my memory is like - limited!

If you're completely bored by now, I apologize. There is more to this story. If, you would like me to continue this story, please leave me a comment, as to whether I should stop my story here, or go on.

Have a good day, if you can. Perhaps, a nap this afternoon may be needed. And, Daisy loves to nap on a lap!

Be safe everyone, wear your mask properly. I see many people who don't cover their nose, which is the proper way to wear a mask.

I'll chat with you tomorrow.

P

It's That Time of the Year

 11/2/2020

And, what time of the year, am I referring to? If you know me, then you know it's gearing up for Christmas time.

We were at the store, you know the only one that excites (not sure I spelled that right) yesterday. On the candy aisle, as well as any other reference to Halloween is gone. Oh, how much candy I would love to buy, but didn't because I'm trying to show my doctor that I can actually lose weight. I have a notebook, that I write down the amount of calories I consume every day. I eat breakfast, the same things I have eaten for years. Some kind of toast, muffin or bagel with my coffee. Not too much in a rut, ya think?

Because I know you're all really busy, and I'm not, I went ahead and counted for you, or at least for women, and the total comes to 21 wonderful shows! I put them on my list, but to be fair to Jeff, I only watch them when he's working. See how nice I am?

And, of course, as soon as Halloween has passed, and practically nobody puts up decorations for Thanksgiving. Christmas decorations are already up, and we're a long way until Black Thursday and Friday.

That means Christmas is coming, in a mere and there are only 53 days to be exact. That means, that I'm like a busy bee, looking for, and buying for people on my shopping list. And, I love the search, and always has.  I have multiple "lists"on Amazon. Some aWe all know that there is really no other place to shop. Jeff controls my spending on Amazon, and while I don't like it, it allows me to check my list, and make a decision whether to keep "x" on my list, or have changed my mind. It is a revolving list! 

I was caught off guard, when Stacey asked me what was on my list? Frankly, I can't remember when somebody asked for my list. So, while I can think and mostly buy, for other people, my list is pretty small. It's really strange that I can't pick out something, and put it in my list. This is trua difficult thing for me. 

Last Christmas, I went out and bought my own presents. No surprise there, but no returns either. Buying for myself, gave Jeff an easy pass. But, this year will be different. I will not buy anything for myself. When people say, I'm hard to shop for, I disagree. From a pair of socks, to the rather expensive Murano presents that Scott gives me each year, are equally loved. Even potholders are exciting! Pretty much, I love everything.

I think Jeff believes in, does the "x" product do anything useful. My answer is always the same, generally no. Some of the things that I would love to have, have no purpose at all, other than collecting dust. When I look around the house, I realize that I just have too many things. Mind you, I love all of these things, but know that I really shouldn't bring anything else into the house. But, I can't help myself, I'm sentimental, and I see no reason to apologize for that. 

While my short term memory is failing, and my OCD is ramping up, I still have memories. Mind you, my memories are from a long time ago. And, nobody can take them away. My hope chest is full, and other than my ability to keep sliding cards (properly dated) inside, I know I should either (a) get rid of stuff (never going to happen) or (b) buy another chest. Option B makes the most sense to me. I also know, that when I'm gone, the boys will likely just take everything out of the chest, and throw everything away. While this saddens me, I also know that the boys will have no desire to keep my things around, nor should they.

I have been asked multiple times, and it does make sense, to put a little sticker underneath each item, so they will have an idea of an asking price! Sounds morbid, but in reality, I should try and help the boys, as much as I can.

We have a fake tree, that we put up sometimes, but since nobody, including the boys, will ever see it, I'm not sure why putting up a tree makes good sense. Do you know when Christmas was exciting? Years ago, when Scott and Andrew were young, and they would get so excited before Christmas. While it wouldn't be the practice at other people's houses, we have always allowed them to shuffle the presents around. Everybody wants the sweet spot, in front of the tree. 

I can shop and buy for everybody, but please don't ask me to wrap. I am completely useless, at making pretty presents. For the boys, I generally put their gift in a box sealed with tape, and put their name on the top of the box. When it's time to open gifts, Jeff and I get a lot of joy, watching he boys (men) open up their gifts. Giving, rather then receiving, is part of what the season is for me.

Kindness! Yes, it still excites. This has nothing whatsoever about Christmas. It is about an angel (I know she was somehow), sent an elderly woman who walked me to my car. Once inside the car, she asked the store employee, if she could find Jeff and Bella.This has nothing to do with Christmas, I just want to express my most loving thoughts to this woman. I have never really believed in angels, but I'm a believer now. I don't know who sent her to help me, and I never will. Perhaps, my Dad had something to do with this. I'll never be sure, but I do believe that she was with me, at exactly the right time, and knew exactly what I needed. The best thank you I can give this woman, is to pay it forward.

Having nothing to do with Christmas, I want to share with you, a woman, who I'm convinced, that she really was an angel, sent to help me. She went out of her way, to get me getting into the car. help me walk to the car yesterday. I was walking very unsteady, and had gotten so hot in the store, I thought I would pass out. As I was leaving the store, I asked one of those door greeters, if they could me get to the car. Their answer was just a stony stare. Obviously, they had no interest in helping me. I kept a grip on the cart, as I very slowly walked to the car. This complete stranger, knew I was in distress. She was trying to keep me up straight, until I could get inside the car. This elderly woman, who didn't have to help me, but went out of her way to help me get in the car, wouldn't leave until Jeff and Bella came out of the store.  There is only one word that would describe to  her assistance. As I said before, an angel. Reminds me that there is still good in the world. She didn't have to help me, but she did. Remember, that stony WalMart employee, she actually came out of the store to help this angel, who came to help her. I have never given much thought to the actuality of angels being all around us, but I'm now convinced that they do exist. They just leave their wings in heaven. I don't know her name, so the best thing I can do to honor her, is to pay it forward. 

Have to run for an appointment. 

P