The Measure of a Man

9/21/2014

Today is Jeff and my 40th wedding anniversary.  Of a lesser note, I've been home for ONE YEAR!!!!
 Rather then buy a Hallmark card for Jeff, I wrote this instead:


 

The Measure of a Man

What makes a man?  On your wedding day, you both promise to get through the good and bad times, the rich and poor times, the sickness and health times and to love, honor and obey each other.

So what makes a man? It’s not the turning of a calendar over to an “x” anniversary.  Time and experiences, both good and bad, make the man.  As Jeff and I celebrate our 40^th anniversary, I wanted to memorialize the measure of one man – Jeff.  During our years together, we have experienced highs and lows, good and bad times, lean years and health as well as sickness.

A man doesn’t run at the first hint of trouble.  He digs his heels in and prepares to “fight” through the challenges thrown his way.  A man is a rock for his wife.  He supports, comforts, loves, defends and understands her.  Some times during a long marriage the foundation of that union feels as if It were built on shifting sand.  Other times that same union is as solid as bricks.

Over the course of our marriage, I have been the one who has had more illnesses, both physical and mental.  Physical illness can be mended.  Mental ones are harder to get a grip on, and there is no set in stone “you’re cured” date. And yet he stays.

Of all the years we’ve been together, last year 2013 was the worse for us by far.  Through my actions, some of which I was unable to control, I turned our world upside down.  And through all of that, Jeff stayed.  Jeff has seen my good days as well as the ugly underbelly of depression and anxiety.  And yet he stays.

I am afraid of a lot of things, driving on interstates, going to new places, meeting new people, as well as worries and fears that have no name.  And yet he stays.

I still suffer from some short term memory issues.  Jeff tells me something, like a date or a “to do” and I forget repeatedly.  And yet he stays.

My present world is ever changing.  I have some really positive good days, and then I don’t. And yet he stays.

He manages my medicine, helps work issues out with insurance companies and arranges for my continuing medical care. He takes most of the phone calls because I can’t remember what I’m told. And yet he stays.

He understands when it’s too painful to walk, or I become agitated for no reasonable reason. And yet he stays.

He knows that I grieve for a life that I once had. He knows that I also still grieve from the loss of Benjamin’s mother. And yet he stays.

He has watched me age over the years. My body sags, is spotted and my hair continues to gray.  And yet he stays.

He knows I want to be a stronger person and hopefully someday will have more control over my mental health.  And so he stays.

Because of a great man, who loves me without judgment and unconditionally, I stay.

Love P