Being Alone

10/5/2014

It's "T-Minus" one day before Jeff leaves for his COPA migration to Las Vegas.  He's excited and I'm excited for him.  This year, for the first time, he should be able to enjoy himself, without wondering whether I'm having a good time, or just marking time until we can fly home.

What probably (I'm not sure that's the right word) worries him, as well as my doctor and friends, is my ability to stay home alone and be safe.  Over the course of an entire year, I have been given medicines that I need to battle both depression and anxiety.  

There aren't enough words that I can say to assure Jeff, or anybody else, that I will be fine, I must be fine.  Being alone for nearly two weeks feels like an interim exam at the end of a semester.  In general, I like being alone.  Let's face it I'm a recluse and enjoy my own company and the ability to do a lot of things, or nothing at all, as I wish.

I will crank up the Tivo today to capture an entire week's worth of crappy television.  The kind of stupid shows that I enjoy but drive Jeff nuts.  You know my theory - if you're willing to go on television and act like a fool - I'm willing to watch!

I volunteer three days a week which gives me purpose and allows me to feel useful.  So that leaves me two days to go to the library, clean house (ugh) or sit outside and watch Mother Nature do her magic leaf changing act!

I haven't done any more writing on Wilma for quite a bit of time and as the weather gets colder, I'll drag my knitting out and continue knitting long strips of yarn (skinny scarf anyone?).

I appreciate your positive thoughts.

P