to the fact that I'm having trouble letting go. Letting go? For 40+ plus years, I have been in charge. I, am the mother of sons, a sister and a daughter.
As the boys were growing up, many holiday meals were cooked by yours truly, and I also had the "joy" of cleaning up too. And, now I don't.
I am now the matriarch of the family. And, for no reason that I can think of, makes me feel like the lead elephant in a parade. Until the boys married, I pretty much controlled things. And, while I didn't see it as being powerful, I guess, in some ways, I was.
We used to spend 2 weeks at the beach, I organized the meals that I would prepare for the two weeks. I did give the boys an opportunity to give me some feedback, which they never did. But, everybody ate everything I cooked, so I guess my menu was acceptable.
The boys got married, and they have given me two wonderful daughters-in-law! Plus, two grand-children - one blue and one pink! Best in the world!
Now, at 70, I no longer plan dinners - birthdays and holidays, or anything else for that matter. I know it's time for me to take a "back seat" in running the show. But, this is a "bit" difficult for me. Perhaps, mothers out there, will understand how I feel.
When family occasions come around, I wait until I'm told where to go, what time and what, if anything, to bring.
We have a great time when all of us get together, and the food and company is wonderful. Scott, Andrew, Stacey, Wendy, Benjamin and Elly all get along, and enjoy everybody's company. I can't imagine what it would feel or look like, if some-how the family became divided.
When we lived in California, Jeff and I, for the most part, thought holidays were tricky. Do we spend Thanksgiving with Jeff's parents? What do we do about Christmas? We wanted to be fair, to both set of parents, but that wasn't always possible.
Oh, back to family gatherings. I am no longer in charge, of anything. I suppose I should just let the girls take over. But, as some of you know, this proves to be hard. While, I'm tired and no longer cook or back anything (back to starting a fire in the microwave), just puts Jeff off!
So, while I'm still the matriarch, simply because I'm the oldest woman in the family, it is difficult to let go of the things I used to do. I know that I am somewhat physically and mentally handicapped. This means things, like food preparation, is now Jeff's job. And, taking care of me, is almost a full-time job, and I'm truly sorry about that.
Jeff's birthday is next week. But, since we are all sheltering in place, there will be no party for him. He's not particularly sentimental, like yours truly, who almost can't close my hope chest! If restaurants were open, both of us would opt for steak. But, picking up your diner to take home, just isn't the same.
I guess I've whined long enough. It's Friday, and one of these days, it will be warm enough to ride in Jeff's car.
Enjoy your weekend, and stay safe. You can see me leading the rest of the crew.
P
Your are more then welcome to clean up after Andrew and Ben! I am happy to give that job up. 😁 You still are the matriarch of the family. All decisions are made with your influence and guidance even if you don't feel as though they are. We love you very much!
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