8/13/2012
Sun Tan
I start the summer off so faithful and yet by August have completely veered off the path. It’s worse than making a New Year’s resolution. Problem?
Keeping a fake tan going for the entire summer. I know, I know doesn’t sound like much of a
problem unless you’re the one with the lily white legs sticking out of capris
or heaven forbid shorts!
The products on the market today are a long way from what we
used in the 60’s which was guaranteed to turn you into a carrot. So eager were we to turn brown when I was a
teenager we used a deadly combination of baby oil and iodine and then sat in
the sun. Immediate burn/tan. Remember back in the 60’s we didn’t give a hang
for sunscreen, skin cancer or as teenagers – wrinkles and age spots!!
Today’s products are easy to use and used properly will over
time give you that sun kissed glow that women seek. Why? I
don’t know about everybody but some will tell you that excess weight (heavens I
don’t want to say fat) looks better bronzed.
Think about it – do you really want to eat a pale chicken? Nope, you want that toasty, crispy brown
breast. Same deal for humans.
So in the beginning of summer I line up the “eventual glow”
tanning product on the bathtub and the entire month of June I religiously apply
the goo to my legs, which is the only thing I care about, every morning. By the time July rolls around, I’m down to
every other day or even just once a week and the glow is beginning to wear off
– figuratively and literally.
Come August, the product has been pushed back to the
recesses of the bathroom cabinet and won’t be seen again until next June when
I’ll take it back out and vow to be faithful.
And I know I won’t. You see there is a certain morning madness Monday
through Friday even if you have sufficiently prepped. The night before I pack my lunch and breakfast and
they’re waiting in the fridge. I’ve laid
out my clothes, appropriate shoes, found my ID badge, charged my cell phone
and Kindle and my notebook is packed with my latest writing assignments. I should have plenty of time, given all of my
organizational ability, to sit on the edge of the tub and work on my tan. And yet I don’t.
The upside of being short – and there aren’t many – is that
most capris (or shorty pants as I call them) are really almost full length
pants on me. Generally, I only have my
white ankles sticking out and we all nobody
pays much attention to ankles - unless we were living in the Victorian era and then it would be shocking.
And there you have it. I'm heading off to work this morning untanned and unconcerned. Enjoy your Monday and remember there are (after today) only 4 more days until Saturday.
P
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