DIY Cast Removal

8/3/2014

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not always a good patient, as far as following instructions go.  Oh I hear what the doctor says, but I have been known to stray going in a completely different direction than what I am/was supposed to.  Okay we got that out of the way.

What you are about to read today is true, believe me I couldn't make this up if I tried.  Back when I was younger and had more spring in my step, I mowed the lawn every week.  When an old Toro mower died, we went back to the Toro dealer, and the salesman was quickly convinced that I was the one making the buying decision. 

In our yard there is a small hill going into the backyard.  I was mowing the lawn, and going down the hill slipped and was in pain with a capital P.  I managed to limp my way into the house, and made a more or less asked for an appointment with my GP now.  After my regular doctor examined my leg, he referred me to an ortho man because he thought I might have torn a tendon or something.  What do ortho docs do? Surgery and/or casts - I wanted neither.

The ortho doc took an xray and told me that I would have to be in a cast from just below my knee to my ankle for "x" weeks.  Good news, I got to choose my color and I picked yellow.  As long as you have a cast on, it might as well be covered in a happy color.  

I was dutiful and wore the cast for an entire week (this is an extremely long time for me to be compliant).  The IBM outing to the local amusement/water park was for the Saturday after my cast was put on.  To hopefully keep me amused while the boys were playing all day, Jeff rented a number of videos, including Gone With The Wind.

The fellas left, I dozed off and on while watching Scarlett and Rett, and in a moment of pure spontaneity, decided that I had worn the cast for an entire week, and my leg surely was healed by now.  I had no idea how you go about removing a cast, but I was determined.  What I did know is that I either had to have the entire cast removed before Jeff got home, or inflict enough damage to the cast, that he would have to help me remove whatever was left of the cast.

I was an newbie as far as cast removal goes, so first I decided to sit in the tub and was hoping that I could soak the cast off - nope - all I ended up with was a wet cast.  If the cast wasn't going to soak off, then I needed tools, and we have them in abundance in the basement.  I managed to get myself down the stairs and began rummaging around on the tool bench.  I didn't know what I needed, but I was thinking a saw of some kind.  No worries - no power tools were used by me in the removal of the cast.  I'm stubborn but not stupid.

Initially, I used the small pruning shears to try cutting the cast, and I actually made some progress.  Once I had finally been able to make a small cut into the cast, I began to try and tear off the cast, but just so you know, cast material doesn't exactly tear - easily!  I used a small hand saw and made some more progress.  I even went so far as to use a hammer - I was going to break the cast (don't true this, it doesn't work).  

Eventually, after many hours and too many tools to mention, I had the cast removed to my ankle.  My hands were shredded and the cast material at the ankle is thicker than on a leg and I threw in the towel.

Jeff came home, expecting me to be lounging on the couch and was surprised, but probably not as much as some husbands would be, to find the cast 3/4's of the way off.  He told me that he had a mind to leave the cast on and that I would have to go to the doctor's office and explain why my cast was mostly removed.  

Jeff finally relented and used a small, cutting tool, that I didn't know how to use, and was able to get the rest of the cast off.  He told me that I would have to call the doctor's office the next day and tell them what happened.  I didn't exactly do that.  I called up and canceled my next appointment and if anybody ever wondered why I hadn't come in to have the cast removed, they didn't call me for an explanation.

End of story: my leg was fine after the cast was off.  I suppose that by being forced to not engage in gardening or mowing for a week, was enough time for whatever was torn to mend, because the leg never bothered me again.

P