Harassment

Harassment

Harassment comes in many forms and affects all people differently.  As a younger office worker I was subjected to harassment on a few occasions.  I never reported it because in those days it was a big deal if you used the “h” word and most companies didn’t know what to do with you if you did.

I once worked in a personnel department with younger women.  I seem to always work with younger women – could be because I’m always older!  Anyway, we had a macho man that used to come into the office, shirt partially unbuttoned (this was the 70’s after all), gold necklaces gleaming and to give him credit he wasn’t a bad looking guy.  But he was arrogant and rude.  He used to “suggest” to the ladies that one of the outer offices were empty – “wink wink” and he had time.  The girls were horrified with his behavior and frankly afraid when he came in to the personnel department.  The fact that he conducted his behavior in the personnel department (that's what they were called in the dark ages) is remarkable.

I took care of the problem without ever having to engage management or even reprimand this young man’s behavior.  The next time he came into the office for “wink wink” alone time, I stood up, grabbed him by his silky unbuttoned shirt and told him that he was right.  My boss was out and we had time for a quick go at it.  He didn’t just leave – he fled.  I never think about this that I don’t still chuckle.  He didn’t really want to have a fling with anybody, he just wanted to embarrass young women.  I’m happy to report that on the few occasions after our interlude that he came in, he was the perfect gentleman.  Problem solved.

Another form of harassment that I suffered, could be called hazing for lack of a better word.  Or perhaps it was let’s see how stupid the new girl is.  The new girl was me in a trailer full of male engineers.  One afternoon one of the engineers came to me with a number, a very large number and told me that he needed it divided until the answer came out to zero and could I help out.  Math never having been my strong suit, but eager to please, I took this massive number and spent the entire rest of the afternoon pouring out spools of adding machine tape trying to come to zero.  At the end of the day I reported sadly to the engineer that I had tried but hadn’t been successful and I apologized for my failure.  The entire room broke out in laughter because apparently this was a joke – the number would never have gone to zero – I just didn’t know this.  I burned from embarrassment and humiliation that I had been the butt of somebody’s joke.  Many years later I still wonder why somebody would do that because it was mean and hurtful.   Did I report it – no, there was no point.  What was I going to say - the engineers gave me a math problem and I couldn't solve it and it was all a joke?  It even sounds lame to my ears. The job turned out to be one of my shorter ones but I hated each and every day that I went to work, a situation I have never been in since.  

Other things have come up over the years but each time I have been able to handle it by myself before the situation got out of hand.  Sometimes I believe harassment is nothing more than to see how much another person will put up with.  Will they fold, ignore it, seek revenge or report it?  I’ve always opted to go about my business quietly and find that the older I get the less I’m bothered by jokesters.  But if I was harassed today I believe I would still be able to fix the problem quickly and without a lot of noise.  Remember, it’s your reaction that they’re looking for – so if possible don’t react.

Happy Tuesday.

P