Man Up

7/26/2012

Man Up

When does someone take ownership of their life?  Is it automatically at 21?  Or in some cases when they're older?  And if they have to be older - how much older?

And more importantly when does my parenting take a back seat or possibly I fall off the wagon entirely?   I may be wrong here; but, I don't think that my parents worried incessantly over us kids, particularly after we were all married.  Once the apron strings were cut - they were cut.  We didn't overly solicit advice from our parents and they were never forthcoming with any.  Some things about my generation went completely over my parents' heads so it's doubtful that they would have been much help anyway.

So here I am at 62 still dragging around various bits and pieces of my family.  I'm still listening to loud and angry phone calls as well as similar diatribes in person.  I'm still wearing my referee shirt trying to keep oil from water which everyone knows doesn't mix - never has - never will.  So I wonder what I'm made out of?  Rubber?  Good choice since I seem to spend my time bouncing around from side-to-side trying to be objective and fair.

I wish someone could tell me when it's time to man up.  You know when you stand back up after getting knocked on the chin, learn from past mistakes and try to do better in the future.  That kind of man up.  I cannot see myself in my rocking chair at Shady Acres Rest Home still trying to resolve problems for adult children.  Why my hair hasn't gone completely white by now is a near constant wonder to both me and my friends.

I don't blame anybody else for my troubles.  It's me - I need to just stand up, take a deep breath and tell my family to stop raining on my parade.  Maybe it's time for me to "man up".  I want a life that is preferably a little less heavy than the one I'm dragging around with me currently.

Maybe someday I won't need to constantly take anti-anxiety medicine every day coupled with higher and higher doses of blood pressure medicine.  Maybe some day I'll be light-hearted and will be able to engage in more fun and less work.  Until then it's game on.