Support

8/27/2017

Support.  Everybody knows it's definition and have at one time or another received support from family and friends.  And, as likely as we are to receive support, we also give it back when it's needed.

I have a neighbor that I have known for 30 years.  Over the years, we have spent periods of time when we go out to lunch or simply have a chat in our homes.  This friend understands that I am reclusive.  Reclusive doesn't mean rude, it just means someone who remains more or less hidden, and lives somewhat of a solitary life.  I enjoy people's company, but seldom do I reach out, either by phone or by visiting them.  This friend, like my others, understands that I don't often call people.  I have no reasonable rationale for why I do this, it's just who I am.

This friend called me yesterday afternoon.  She had gone to the rehab facility thinking that I was still there and was surprised to find I had come home.  When she called, she wanted to know why I hadn't told her that I was home.  Frankly, it hadn't even occurred to me, but I felt bad that she had gone out of her way to try and visit me.

We had a lengthy phone conversation, and she offered to come over and take me outside in my wheelchair for a walk.  I haven't left the house now in several weeks.  Walking isn't something that I readily do and I for sure don't walk just for the heck of it.  Why would I do that?  The right foot can only tolerate so much time being used.  

I also told my friend that Jeff was going out of town in September for a few days and that he wanted me to go out to Andrew's house while he was away.  I told my friend that I wanted to stay home, where everything in my world is comfortable and just the way I like it.  She offered generously to come and visit me while he was away and to make sure that I was doing okay.  She also told me that it was okay to reach out to people and tell them what I needed/wanted.  Reaching out is something that I don't do well, but maybe I should learn to do so.  Nobody can help me if they don't know what I need/want.  It makes good sense and going forward I'm going to be a concerted effort to talk to my friends.

Yesterday afternoon, this friend came over to the house for a visit.  She told Jeff that she would make sure that I had company while he was away and that she'd even take me out of the house for walks around the neighborhood.  Jeff has somewhat reluctantly agreed that I can stay home, which makes me very happy.  While I would and do enjoy Stacey and Benjamin's company, I don't want to stay there for the days that he's gone.  I will take my pills, eat breakfast and dinner (lunch not so much) and enjoy the dogs' company.  

I am alone a great deal but don't think of myself as a lonely person.  Others, however, would likely describe me as a lonely person.  Some people need a lot of activity in their lives and there was a time, years ago, when I was one of those people.  Now, and for several years, my body hasn't worked as well as it should, and it's easier to stay home and not venture outside.  Particularly now when the foot is numb, if I do a lot of standing or walking, I end up angering "leg god", and that's not good thing.

Conclusion: support can surprise you by who or what somebody does for you.  And, for this support, I am grateful.

P