Checking In

10/23/2017

You may have noticed that I took yesterday off.  I had nothing to write about, rant about or care enough about to put random letters on a page.  And, believe me, you would have gotten just that.  I care enough for all of you, that I want to make sure that I'm giving you all my creativeness.  Yesterday, was not that day.

It's now Monday (duh!) and I think today should be a laundry day.  I was sleeping when I heard the loud crunch of something.  That something happened to be an approved toy - a bone that feels and looks like it's made out of cement!  Once I'd popped out of bed, then the girls go into hyper drive, making it impossible to go back to sleep.  

Yesterday afternoon, Jeff and I made the Costo/WalMart run.  We took my rollator along, so that I could sit when I needed or wanted to.  I hate those stupid little carts that make that annoying beeping sound when you back up.  And, I'm not a good cart driver, I am forever banging into something as I attempt to turn into an aisle.  Here's the deal - in my rollator, for whatever reason, I feel less handicapped.  Now I know that makes absolutely no sense, but it's how I feel.  And trying to feel better about myself is a full time job, and not always a successful one.

I had made my grocery list before we left the house, so it was really a fast trip through WalMart.  Stacey met us at Costco so that Benjamin could go home.  I really and truly hate saying good-bye to him.  While I'm unable to take him out for a run (like that would ever happen, even if I was physically able!), or go to the movies, since I can't drive, I think he has a good time here with Jeff and I.  I am accepting of his singing and dancing and getting toys out for his imaginary play.  For instance, eating popcorn for dinner, because we can and we wanted to.  Obviously, things are different at our house, as they probably are at all grandparents' houses.  It's just what we do.  We're older, have more time and patience.  And, our love for our grandchildren has no limit - to the moon and back!

I'm seeing the ortho surgeon tomorrow morning, so I'll wear shorts (the kind that goes to my knees), so that I won't have to put on those paper-like shorts that don't fit.  And, when they don't fit, there's a blow to your ego.  Will he be able to help me?  Only time will tell.  He does research on the compartment pain syndrome - or CRAP as I like to call it.  My real fear is that he'll not be able to help me and I'll be forever stuck in a body that only half works.  I'd be pretty happy if I could get behind the wheel of my car.  I don't think that's asking too much.

One doctor told me that it could take many months or perhaps even a year before I might feel better.  Really?  That's your best answer?  I can't (oh I suppose I could) be this disabled for that long.  I go to doctor's appointments and have to wait for Metro Access to both pick me up and drop me off.  I know that makes me sound like Debby Downer, and for that I apologize. I'm about to go into my sixth month with this crappy, oh I don't know what it is, foot.  

Thanks for letting me rant.

Have a great day.

P