Challenges

7/28/2018

Once again, Cuzilu finds herself unable to accomplish something that must be relatively easy to do.

I bought stainless steel measuring cups and spoons.  I am quite delighted with my purchase and ready to put my plastic measuring cups in the back of a drawer.

The problem with the cups and spoons is that they are connected by some kind of clip ring.  I wish to separate them. I know this can't be rocket science, but for me, it might as well be. I can't begin to tell you how many things I buy that require some kind of assembly.  Taking the cups and spoons apart is probably (actually the word should be really) easy to do.  And yet, the removal is more of a challenge to me.  Sad really.

Unfortunately, Jeff has to come to my rescue time and time again.  I try and want to be a "big girl" and handle some things for myself.  I either can't understand the directions, get the product out of it's box, and these days follow a recipe.  I guess you could say that I'm a hot mess.  And while I do screw up pretty much everything that I touch, I so want to be useful.  My intentions are always good, but the follow through isn't.

For 40 plus years, Jeff has taken excellent care of me.  And, for most of those years, I was working, had a fully functioning brain, and was earning a respective salary.  Now, I'm not any of those things. I can't work because my brain has been compromised (all my fault) and while my Social Security monthly benefit check helps out, it can't compare to my working salary. 

Some days I just want to sit in my chair and be and do nothing.  I feel, and Jeff may disagree, that I bring very little "to the table", so to speak. I still read, a longtime love affair I have with books.  But, these days, as soon as I have left a page, I can't tell you what the previous page was about. If I watch the evening news without Jeff, I can only remember bits and pieces of the news. I can't begin to describe how much I hate my brain, or what's left of it.

It's been 5 years since I messed everything up. And, the fallout continues be with me/us. I do jigsaw and crossword puzzles as well as other brain "games", and sadly there is no improvement.

My doctor is going to have me do cognitive testing in the fall. She says the tests are long, and not easy.  But, even knowing that, I want to do the tests, so that I and my doctor can see how well (or not) my brain is doing.

I personally suffer, but Jeff, an innocent bystander, and my best friend, has to put up with a rather constant barrage of questions he has already answered.  And, for this I'm very sorry.  But, I can only apologize so much. I really am very tired. And, I'm pretty sure Jeff is as well.

When Jeff comes downstairs, he'll be able to separate the measuring cups, probably in less than a minute.  I don't know what I would do without him.

P