Some of you know Jeff better than others. When you've been married 45 years, we know pretty much everything about each other. And, yes when we eat out, we're that "couple" who don't do a lot of talking. Don't think of that as sad, just that we've reached a point where there isn't very much new things to talk about.
But, let me talk to you about the early years. I met Jeff, on a blind date 45 years ago. And, through the years, like all couples, there are good ones, and unfortunately, some negative ones as well.
When Jeff and I were dating, my salary, after paying for daycare, left me with pretty much change in my purse. Not quite that bad, but you get the idea.
Early on, Jeff took Kenny and I grocery shopping. He had a cart, and I had a cart. I went through the store, with an eye toward damaged cans, smashed bread and anything else that was inexpensive, and due to expire. Jeff was in front of me and his cart was nearly full. I added my pathetic amount of groceries on the belt, after him. I was blown away when he told the cashier that he was paying for both carts. Jeff was generous to a fault. He bought things that I hadn't bought, because these food items were expensive, and I was, for all practical purposes, poor.
I had a lovely dress on lay-a-way at a store, and I was making regular, though small, payments. Jeff found out about the dress, and he promptly paid it off! Who wouldn't love a guy like that.
I received ONE child support check from "klutz" as I now call him. Trouble was that somehow that check ended up in the garbage and was in the dumpster. Jeff took the time to search and eventually find, the only check I ever received.
In my first marriage, I did laundry on a ringer-type washing machine. When doing laundry this way, you have to make sure all buttons are tucked inside, otherwise they get mutilated going through the wringer. I'm confident that most of you have either (a) never heard about a wringer washing machine; or those of you who used, or watched a family member using this device. It's basically an all day process, and in the end messy too. Water gets on the floor, and once the laundry has been "through the wringer" (couldn't resist), the clothes then have to put in a dryer (which I did not have), or hung up on a clothes line.
I did put the wet clothes on the clothes line, and have one of the dogs (all belonging to my "x") pull them down and dirty everything. Occasionally, we would use a laundromat, which was a thrill for me (such a modern machine)!!
After Jeff and I were married, my life began to turn around, if you will. I had a "real" stove to use. Where, previously, I only had a hot plate for cooking.
On our honeymoon, to San Francisco, we fell in love with sourdough bread. We were on a very limited budget, but one day we went to a fairly fancy restaurant. The waiter brought out the bread, which we consumed quickly. And, then it was "rinse and repeat", until we were cut-off for our love for the bread. We couldn't afford, or chose not to, eat in swanky restaurants.
We rode the trolley cars, and there is definitely an art about how to get on and off. I never quite mastered the "how to", so generally, Jeff would haul me inside. We also rode the bus, Stockton 30, if my memory is correct. Here's what I do remember, even after all these years, is sitting near an older woman, who had one hair jutting out from a mole. At 25 this horrified me. Jump too today, and my face and hot wax have become fast friends!
For reasons I didn't understand, I had to use the bathroom a lot. You just can't use a bathroom and not buy a drink or food. So over the short time we were in San Francisco, Jeff drank a lot of coffee. Once home, the doctor said that I had a "uti" - and all of you women out there, know what I'm talking about.
As for souvenirs that we bought, were definitely on the meager side. The prices for most things was very expensive, and way out of our budget. However, we did buy a Murano candle (we could afford it). While this isn't the candle we bought , you get the idea:
After just a few days in San Francisco, and the weather was very cold, Jeff bought me some gloves, which helped out a lot. Jeff then proposed to me, that if we headed home early, then he would buy me a real washer and dryer. He had me at the word washer. We cut our honeymoon short, headed home and in quick order, Jeff bought me a real washer and dryer. Life just can't get any better than this, as far as I was concerned.
He was then, as well as today, my constant companion, best friend, and now eases my anxiety level, among other things. I'm sure that it's not easy to live with me. I forget the question, as well as the answer I write stuff down, but turn around twice in the chair, and I no longer have little, if any, recall of things. It's just who I am now. Would like to be better mentally, and I do jigsaw puzzles, take on-line tests, etc., and yet the needle hasn't really moved much to the better side of my memory. I deeply regret that I am such a huge burden (my words, not his) in his life. I believe he deserves better. Trust me, I'm working hard on being that better person. But, I'm not there yet.
I have, and I'm sure that Jeff does as well, the many things we've done, the places we've visited, and the memories we made.
P
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