Letting Go of Mister Sam

6/12/2016

As you know, Sam is 15 now and in the past few months has begun to have more and more accidents in the house.  I have always silently told my dogs that peeing and pooping in the house is a deal breaker.  But, I made an exception for Sam.  I blotted up and shampooed the various spots on the carpets.  And, by doing so, was breaking my one cardinal rule about having a dog.  For some time, Sam has had more and more accidents and I really tried to clean up the messes and move on.

Last night I rolled over in bed and landed in a river of pee.  Yuck.  My decision, which is the hardest one for a pet owner, was made when my sheets were wet.  It's time to let Sam go.  I know that I could continue to live with him as long as I am/was able to keep picking up after him.  But the wet bed was a deal breaker for me.  I know that Sam seems to no longer have control over his bodily functions and I understand.  As an old woman, trust me I do really understand.

I know that time will not make Sam better, neither will his control over his bodily functions improve.  I could see the vet and she'd probably give him an exam and give me pills that might make things better.  But, the pills would only be a band-aid on the problem.  Jeff and I used to, a long time ago, have a $250 limit on a vet bill for a dog.  Now, you can't see a vet for less than $250, at least not around here.  

Jeff says the decision is mine and mine alone.  We have given Sam 7 very good years after we rescued him from a terrible living condition.  I don't want to watch Sam progress slowly or perhaps not slowly at all, down a one way street.  I know that eventually the street ends and the outcome will be the same.

I'm going to call the vet in the morning and schedule a time for me to bring Sam in so that I can put him to sleep.  This is not an easy call. He has been a great dog with a lot of personality and we'll miss him a great deal.  If I don't do what's necessary now, I am only prolonging the inevitable.  What I don't want is for Sam to die alone at home.  While that would definitely be easier on me, it wouldn't give me the closure that I need, while I watch Sam quietly go to sleep, and me being the last person he sees.  

It's not fair that our pets don't outlive us.  But if we are good pet owners, then we'll know that we're keeping the dog/cat alive mainly for ourselves, and not for our pet.  And that is just us being selfish and not doing what needs to be done.

P