Peace of Mind

11/28/2016

You can be of sound mind, and/or you can have peace of mind.  I am striving for peace of mind, since my being of sound mind is sometimes questionable.  Multiple ECT treatments given to me in 2013 and 2014, are perhaps partly to blame for the state of my mind.  Jeff can tell me something to do on "x" day and sometimes later in that same day, I haven't the foggiest idea what I was supposed to do.  Sometimes I don't even remember being given a task, such is the working of my mind.

I try to compensate by writing down things, but then I forget where I put those notes.  Since it's been a fairly long time since my last ECT treatment, I'm pretty sure that the memory I have now is the memory I'm stuck with.  My biggest fear is someday suffering from Alzheimer's.  

They say you have to live with your consequences.  Based on my actions in 2013, I am now living with the consequences, and I'm pretty sure that some of those consequences will haunt me to my dying day.

For peace of mind now, I look to the puppies.  Every morning starts with at least one and sometimes both puppies in my lap while I read.  Bella is as heavy as a bag of rocks but she tries to be gentle when she bounds up into my lap.  Daisy is a lightweight compared to Bella and through some maneuvering on their parts, they eventually find enough space on my lap.

I love the feel of their velvety ears and their breath on my hands while they are sleeping.  If undisturbed by outside noise, this wonderful part of my day can last for an extended period of time.  I lean back in my chair and allow the comfort of their bodies to wash over me.  This is peace of mind and I get this gift every day.  While the puppies are sleeping on me, I forgive them for all the destruction they have done to the house.  We have a chair and sofa that will never be the same since the puppies tore off the skirts.  Chair legs have been gnawed on and for some reason drywall has been chewed (who develops a taste for that?).  
Walking around the house is much like going through a mind field.  In almost every room there is an assortment of bones of various sizes, antlers, remnants of tennis balls, and chewed up babies with their stuffing strewn around the room!  I don't actually vacuum the carpets now, I use a broom to gather up everything and once I have a pile, I can toss to the side the "keepers" (toys, etc.).

The puppy stage won't last forever I know.  Daisy is now 6 months old and Bella is 5 months.  In a few short months, they'll be dogs.  Hopefully, Jeff and I have and continue to train them so that they will be wonderful dogs next year.  

I take every day one at a time and find joy in the little things, like puppy love.  Everyone should know the love of puppies at some point in their lives.

P