Things Are Better Now

10/22/2019

Jeff came home late last night. I stayed up, because I knew that if I was in bed, the girls would make a huge fuss that he was home. 
 
After being alone for five days, I think that when he goes to migration next year, perhaps we should hire a "sitter" for me. You know, somebody who could and be with me for a few hours a day. Even if all we did was watch television, it would be company.

Everyone I know, are still working, and because they are younger than me, will be working for probably another (just guessing) 10 years.

My car is at Scott's house, with apparently no plants in the immediate future, to return it to me. So, I'm pretty much stuck in the house. And, most of the time, I'm okay with that. 

But, when both the Keurig and television were "broke" for several days, of the two, I missed the television the most. If, you are for the most part, not able to get out and about, then books and television, become your best friends. Oh, and in order, television comes first.

I'm a recluse and all of my friends and family know this. Since I stopped working in 2013, I've been pretty much alone. A year or two ago (and, Jeff I don't remember the exact year), Jeff started working from home. While he remains upstairs and is lazer focused on his job, I know that if I need him, he'll be able to come and help me. 

I have numerous doctor and therapy appointments, and since my family won't let me drive, Jeff has to take me everywhere. It's not enough that he's tethered to a "mental" person, but also somewhat of a physically disabled person. While working with a personal trainer, I have become stronger. I can now get out of the chair without holding onto the arms. And, the trainer has taught me what to do when I fall. That bit of training came into play last week, when I fell on the top stair while getting out of the basement. But, I knew what to do. Melissa taught me, I bend one leg at the knee and the other straight behind me (a pusher if you will). I did just that and was actually able to get off the floor all by myself! Big success on my part.

I wish I wasn't in this condition, but as they say, you can't change the past. You can only go forward. Actually, I don't know which is worse - my mental health or my physical health. Kind of a crap shoot either way. 

My families are busy with their own lives. Benjamin is in school now, and has joined cross country running and soccer I think. And, he's going to be the lead in the school play. Do I miss the field trips that Stacey, Benjamin and I did together? Oh, you bet. I miss seeing him regularly. But, in reality I also know that there's not much to do at Mom Mom's house. And, we can no longer sit in the recliner any longer, we just don't fit. I swear it's his fault. Just writing this, makes me a bit teary (sorry).

Okay, I've whined enough for one day. The sun isn't out, but it's not raining either.

P