Jail and Good-Bye
Readers and Friends.
My oldest son went to jail yesterday for the weekend. The weekend stay is part of his sentencing for his basically one person alcohol related accident last July. He had some of his "best friends" from the bar with him that night, but he was the only one injured when he went over a cliff on his ATV. I'm not upset over his sentence - he knows I believe firmly in consequences for your actions.
So what's in my head at 12:30 am? That I didn't call him yesterday to say something, anything to him. And it's not like I didn't remember that June 8th was the day - he'd even sent me a calendar "invite" which blinked reminders to me all day long. I kept telling the computer to snooze for just a few more minutes until time ran out for me to make that call. And my delays were pretty much intentional.
I know why I didn't call and when he reads this on Sunday after his release, he'll know too. I talk to this son most every day and some days multiple times. Yet, yesterday neither of us reached out to the other. Why? I think my son knew just as I did that the call would make me and possibly him emotional and what good with that do either of us.
I will apologize to my son after his release on Sunday and I know that he will forgive me. The question is - will I be able to forgive myself?
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