Women

1/9/2013

 

Women

Men see women differently than we see ourselves.  Over the generations women have been known for getting the “vapors”, unable to handle anything more intense than planning dinner for eight (which by the way isn't easy), weak, crying and with a general lack of logical thinking. 

How do women see women?  Differently I can assure you.  The current woman no longer get the vapors, they run multi-million dollar businesses, pay someone to take care of that dinner for eight and some (not all) women are logical (me - not so much).  Crying is still a woman thing but no longer gives off the appearance of weakness - just makes us human!

One difference between men and women is that we give birth.  If the roles were reversed, I'm thinking we'd have a few less children in the world.  Just saying.  Women generally don’t have much sympathy when a man complains of a kidney stone.  To be sure it must be painful but so is the head and shoulders of an eight pound baby! 

Men should never assume that women in general are weak.  Some are of course, but there are a lot of tough broads out there.  Perhaps you work or are even married to one.

Women will fight like she bears to protect their young, even when their young are 40 years old!  That’s not to say that men don’t; but, women just never give up the mom role.  We’re the soft spot for our children until the end.

When a woman wants something bad enough she is prepared to work and/or fight for it and crying uncle is not an option.  I’ll give you a personal example of perseverance. Years ago I tore a muscle in my leg and my regular doctor knowing that I wasn’t the best patient called ahead to the orthopedic doctor to tell him to put my leg in a cast – no matter what.  I got the cast of course and limped along for several days and then decided I was cured.  I knew this because I got my MD degree on the back of a cereal box.  That weekend Jeff and the boys went to Kings Dominion for the day and I was to settle on the sofa watching Gone With the Wind.  And to be fair I did watch SOME of the movie and then I decided it was time to remove the cast.  After all it had been four days and how hard could removing a cast be?  Truth?  It’s really hard and darn near impossible. 

My neighbor had dissolved his plaster cast in the bathtub so I took my old body and lounged around in the tub until I turned into a prune but the cast remained.  It didn't dissolve at all.  Why?  My cast was made of fiberglass - oops. Even though the bathtub idea hadn't been successful I was no less determined that I could do this.  First I tried scissors which did nothing but irritate me and the cast.  I hobbled down to the basement and found the short yard trimmers.  Ah, but the trimming shears worked better.  After hours and I do mean hours, I was able to cut that cast off down to my ankle and could go no further.  My hands were a mess of blisters but I was rather pleased with my success. I'm not proud to admit it but I pounded on the remaining cast with a hammer (I have no idea why I thought that was a good idea) as well as using a small saw (non-electric). 

My only fear or dread was that I was pretty sure Jeff would notice when he got home that I didn’t have a full leg cast on, but now was sporting a colorful ankle bracelet.  Here’s a hint for future cast removal – the ankle part is thickest which is why I wasn’t able to even make a dent in it.  Jeff was upset (duh) and really thought that I should have to go back to the doctor with the remaining shredded cast – but I “persuaded” him to cut the rest off. The removal of the ankle cast took hours and burned up a Dremel tool which didn’t make me too popular!

The next day I casually called the doctor’s office and canceled my next appointment and of course never made mention of the fact that the cast had been removed.  They never asked if I was going to reschedule so as far as they know I have been sporting a leg cast now for over 20 years!  So much for medical follow-up.

That example of a determined woman was years ago - but I have a much more recent example.  In our office we have an old steel filing cabinet that locks but of course we have never had the key.  Someone unknowingly leaned against the lock and guess what?  It locked!  Amazing.  Question was how were we going to get it unlocked.  Jeff was able to jiggle around and get two drawers unlocked before he went out of town - but the two drawers I wanted into remained locked.  How it's possible to unlock 2 out of 4 drawers is beyond me.  Monday night when I came home from work I set about to attack the lock (and no I didn't use the yard trimmers this time).  I used a small screwdriver to see if I could hack into a lock like I see on television.  Uh no I couldn't.  Not bothered by my lack of success I merely grabbed a larger screwdriver, which didn't actually fit in the hole so instead I pushed it around the sides and actually made the lock come out just a bit.  But I was exhausted and had to give up for the night.

Yesterday when I got home I returned to my enemy with renewed strength.  This time I grabbed a pair of needle nose pliers (ah disclaimer here - I now owe Jeff a pair of these pliers but don't tell him that) and tried inserting one side into the lock.  I actually was pretty successful in my effort and could see that the lock was ever so slowly inching out.  I took turns between the large screwdriver and trying to wedge it between the now apparent lock edge and the pliers.  Here's what happened.  I was pulling against the pliers so hard I actually broke one tip off (I don't know my own strength).  A normal and perhaps sane person would have stopped there - but not me.  Nope I kept fiddling around until I managed to break off the other tip, so at least they now match.  Through the course of an hour I made a serious impact on the actual hole which is now big enough to drive a very large screwdriver through - yet the lock remains - well locked.  If Jeff were home he would simply drill out the lock, I know this.  But he isn't here.  I am and have a full arsenal of tools (including my letter opener) sitting on top of the filing cabinet waiting for tonight's battle.  I can hardly wait.  To be sure I'll give you a lock vs. me update.

On a different note and I'm sure it's a mistake but it appears that I had - wait for it - 39 views yesterday.  That number is staggering to little old me who just puts black ink on paper in some random fashion and thought.  If it isn't a fluke then I'm over the top excited.  I can't wait to see what happens today.

Have a great Wednesday and wish me luck with my continuing lock drama!

P